nice to take photos surrounded by Christmas cheer (as opposed to paranoid commercialism and threats of legal action). On the lookout for visions of Annie Laurie Gaylor, we were treated to the sweet sounds of Christmas carols both familiar and sublime.

“Look, it’s Annie Laurie Gaylor, hide the kid.”

The Kiwanis Club of Madison West, founded to host The Capitol Christmas Pageant, has hit its 86th year of song and back lit nativity scenes under the Capitol dome. The audience was a little smaller, but the center stage and heavenly East High echo choir were as rich and full as I remember. I don’t mean to make them sound like a refreshing beverage, but they did make me feel like crying and tipping my waiter.

There were nine other carols between the Hark The Herald Angels Sing and Silent Night which the area high school singers, scene models, and musicians performed with grace and a touch of innocence.

Ched Bonus: The Capitol Christmas Tree is a source of childhood fascination and a salute to grade school art class.

My favorites were an engrossing series of Santa faces hung across the 50 foot “holiday tree.” Can we call it a Christmas tree again, I’m not sure.

Just The Facts

¬Yes, I went to Catholic school and will freely sing carols and use the word “Christmas”  (times used this article: 11  Christmas Carols sung: 3)
¬ The tree in the Capitol whatever we’re calling it, is on display throughout the month of December
¬ There are always two performances the first Sunday in December, 4:15 and 5:15
¬This is not a sing-a-long (found that out)
¬ All Capitol Christmas Pageant participants are volunteers

¬ Pageant donations can be made to:

Capitol Christmas Pageant Fund
1214 Saalsaa Road
Madison, WI 53711

I’m putting a pageant photo album on my Web site.

came and went, the Packers beat the toothless Lions, and fat pants were stretched into three person dome tents. Turkeys plumped, rumps roasted (having previously exposed themselves on Sunday Night Football), and some got off the couch and headed to the mall.

I didn’t have enough money to set up my dome tent/capri pants this year, but I was checking out battle stations the days before Black Friday last year when I discovered merchandise already priced for day of shopping frenzy. I got a lovely Samsung flatscreen two nights before, and good thing because I was in a car accident in Wauwatosa on Thanksgiving and never would have made it back in time.

I heard there were 200 Playstations priced to move at Best Buy, so getting their at 4 am might not have been worth it—besides, there were far crazier and colder people there a lot earlier than I’d be willing go.

We didn’t get to Johnson Creek until 2 pm, and when you shop with someone who spends an hour and a half in the Crok store, that’s late. We shopped until someone else dropped (they were removing someone from the Harry and David side of Johnson Creek when we finally left).

And speaking of Harry and David, located in one of the B0 series of suites (make your own jokes),  I was told by a clerk with strong Nurse Ratchet vibes that “Taking photos is illegal.”

Like this one, apparently. That will come as a surprise to many people, and although I’ve felt that what the built-in flash on my point in shoot does to lighting is criminal, Harry and David probably doesn’t want you to photograph top secret displays of Moose Munch.

Here are some resources which talk about taking photos in public:

The Photographer’s Right (Bert P. Krages II)

Legal Rights of Photographers (Andrew Kantor)

Photography and the Law (Photojojo!)

PhotoSecrets The Law For Photographers (Free Online Guide)

Funniest overheard snippet was in L’eggs Hanes Bali Playtex, aka, the bra place.  A clerk told a miserable looking husband that he should involve himself in the little woman’s lingerie shopping so he dove in like a trouper and came up with “How does this bra effect the cleavage?”

Ironically, my cousin (who was talked into having a baby shower for another cousin by my sister and cousin on the Green Lake trip) had one of the kids fetch me a button busting hamper of Moose Munch all done up in Christmas wrap the next day.

Speaking of people whose advanced holiday planning make the rest of us look bad, here’s what I have for Christmas gifts so far:

√ One Redneck horn that says “Slow down, Walmart is open all night”

√  A pie slice starter

√ A book of flatulence (believe me, it’s apt for my middle nephew)

√ Assorted toiletries and festive storage tins

Gift I know someone on my list must have:

Retro handset for cell phones (found on State Street, a better choice for your holiday shopping despite the dismal holiday decorations or lack there of)

Johnson Creek turned out to be the kind of place where we most easily found gifts for ourselves, but only a few stocking stuffers for others. My cousin was in heaven at the Croc Store (very nice and helpful people), I loved the Bose Store where I settled in at the entertainment demo in back. They had a good price on an iPod docking system I’d been looking at (about $40.00 less than I’d last priced, $20 cheaper than Best Buy) and some impressive headphones, speakers and entertainment systems.

Highlights: There are many stores and deals if you’re willing to find them. After all, who doesn’t need underwear?
Lowlights: There’s only one cafe in the mall, so remember the less expensive fast food and truck stop options at the far end of the parking lot. And it’s an outside mall and since it looks as if we will have a winter after all layer.

Ched Bonus: They 2 Loons Cafe carries bottles of Low-Cal Sprecher Root Beer

Photographers Bonus (I haven’t talked to a lawyer and have only done the most basic of research, but photographers rights would make a good article):

From Photo Secrets:

They don’t have a legal right to stop you from taking photographs, and they can’t threaten you or demand your camera. Only law enforcement officers (and officers of the court) can do that, and only with a court order or while making an arrest. Anyone else can be charged with a variety of things such as coercion, harassment, conversion, false imprisonment, kidnapping, assault, violation of constitutional rights, or theft. The only thing a private security person can do is ask you to leave the premises.

“In general, it is unlawful for anyone to instill a fear that they may injure you, damage or take your property, or falsely accuse you of a crime just because you are taking photographs.”
–The Photographer’s Right, by Bert P. Krages II

Thanks to all the authors and sites linked in the resource section.

Night Before Freakfest is a preview of costumes to come, but tonight the weather was cold and blustery and kids and elders stayed away in droves.  I’m writing this at midnight so maybe the night turned from dud to dreamboat after the witching hour.

But there were cookies, and people who needed them.

An odd night all around—the rain felt like snow, the wind felt like punishment, the fun felt like effort. Thank God Insomniac Cookie truck was giving away freshly baked pre-made cookies by the plate full.

The streets seemed downright desolate.

On the not quite bright but glowing side, there’s been a festive Metropolis ring with pink lighting around Lady Rennebohm for some time. How long, I don’t know. Write me, tell me all about. Let’s chat.

On the a little weird considering how unfriendly he was side, some guy dressed like one of the Twelve Tribes was walking a goat on a rope. The reactions varied: Total indifference, Nice goat, Is that a real goat, Does he bite, and my favorite, Can I get a picture of me with the goat because that’s all I’ll need to win the scavenger hunt.

Costumes in the Ragstock window were a lot more interesting (and warmer) than many, but the goat looked comfortable. Actually, no he didn’t.

Did we learn that heels, mere swatches of clothing, and cold wind don’t mix?

Hard to tell. But I learned a lot from the kids this year. South Park has a ready to wear character named Towelie, a pie plate and hood means you’re a Shy Guy from Super Mario Brothers (I never liked Donkey Kong and use my PlayStation to watch Blu-rays), and the appeal of a puffy shirt may be eternal.

They wheeled what looked like a homeless guy out of State Street Brats, the paramedic we talked to didn’t know if it was a seizure or he fell and hit his head. Information to have, no? We watched the victim hoist his backpack and chat it up before hoping on the gurney; I’m surprised he didn’t wheel himself out.

anyone know what underwear, a green t-shirt with a “Q” made from duct tape, and a feather means? The costume seemed pretty specific. Then again I thought Jim’s costume from The Office meant he had his nose in a book. (He was Facebook.)

There were a few more costumes I didn’t get, the guy with the can opener and bloody shirt for instance. I catered with a guy like that once, he was always a cheese platter away from critical blood loss.

Unless it all happened after I tottered back to my carefully yet conveniently parked car (I’m still not telling you), no blood lost, no cookies crumbled. I hope the kid who arrived with a costume announcing he needed a place to stay did okay. Yeah, look at him, he did just fine.

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Just The Freaky Facts

 The Official Freakfest Web site is at Channel 3000.com

 Tickets are $7.00 before and $10.00 the day of Freakfest.  There are 13 places to buy tickets listed on the Web site, and a stand in the Library Mall on Lake St. You can buy four tickets at a time

 The surrounding streets started to close around 3:30 today. The fest tomorrow officially starts at 7 pm and goes to 1:30 am. There are a list of closed streets and bike racks (I’m serious, Jake, it’s Madtown) on the FAQ page

 Note there’s no glass, fake  costume weapons or booze allowed

 The bars are packed as solid as a canned ham and don’t smell nearly as good. Don’t count on them for refreshment. There will be stands on the 800 block of State and Clary’s was open tonight and last year

 Third Eye Blind is playing at the top of State Street and it’s a stage of many large speakers. You might want to bring earplugs. No offense. (If you can’t name a tune either, here’s a link to some samples)

 There’s a music stage on Gilman (WISC-TV) and

 The Onion Stage and Costume Contest is on Frances—prizes include a trip to New Zealand (no, I don’t know) and a 42-inch plasma

 If you’re taking digital photos, bring back-up batteries—the weather and photo ops may wear them out. The penitentiary lighting helps with point and shoot cameras

 Male or female, horse or hound, you’ll do a lot of walking, save some energy for the crawl back to your car and here’s a preemptive I told you so for those who love their Halloween heels

Ched Bonus: Daylight Savings Time

Postcript: All my Halloween Weekend photos are up

of campus bike messengers delivering munchies to their less motivated peers is interesting in an ironic, Marxian class struggle kind of way.

That’s what Madtown Munchies does, delivers munchies by bicycle to college students.

Their delivery area ranges from Camp Randall to Breese Stevens.

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“The way we usually describe it, we’re a convenience store, but better than having a store front,” said co-owner, Jeremy Neren when I talked to him last summer. Hey, things happen, apartments flood, computer desks are lost and new ones are found.

I love my new computer desk.

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It’s also interesting in a “Why didn’t I think of that?” kind of way.

(You didn’t think of it because you were the one begging people to fetch you Funyuns and Tab from the vending machine in the basement.)

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Let’s face it, some of us buy, some of us fly. Jeremy Neren and Sivan Levaton-Carignan of Madtown Munchies fly.

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One person’s box of Cheez-It Duoz is another’s persons bread and butter

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Not long out of school themselves, they have a firm grasp on the mind set of the college student. Their selections can be practical and perhaps optimistic as exemplified by one of their more whimsical selections, The Happy Ending Meal—ice cream, condoms, and cigarettes.

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“The more popular things we carry are things like ice cream and candy and chips and snacks,” said Neren.

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“We were running it out of an apartment,”  remembered Neren. “At that point it was just an idea that we kind of just ran with. We had no real big ambitions with it.

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I suspect the munchies get out more than the couch potatoes ordering them.

—

——

Jeremy and Sivan are always looking for new menu items and are open to suggestions. Keep it clean—maybe not.

—–

Ched Note: Madtown Munchies had their three year anniversary this Fall.

Ched Bonus: Their Healthy Alternative page includes Amy’s Mac and Cheese and Ben & Jerry products—oh to be young—they have kosher and vegan choices and Party Essentials including hookahs, beer pong, Jell-O, and Band Aids.

I think the age divide lines up on either side of that party.

disaster hit my apartment, my sister and cousin thought a getaway to meet old (not that kind of old) college roommates was in order, so they decided on the Heidel House.

The Heidel House is in Green Lake, which is close to Ripon, home of the Rippin’ Good Cookie, and about 25 miles east of Montello, home of B&B’s candy store.

Green Lake can cost a bit of green, especially if you spend a holiday weekend at the Heidel House. Most of the fun happens on the water, the fishing is supposed to be good, and there are plenty of places to eat. We had a room overlooking the lake that could have comfortably held four, but had to share the terrace with other guests, which was okay if you’re up for it, but there was a shortage of chairs and tables and no shortage of noise and chatty neighbors.

But I was escaping and up for just about anything so thought our neighbors teetered the totter just this side of amusing.

There was a wedding every night we were there and we were serenaded by drunks and water bound M80s late at night— there was a lot of commotion on the terrace first thing in the morning, so maybe a room with a view wasn’t the ticket to a restful weekend.

There was also our happily inibriated neighbor who kept offering us jet skis (I don’t think they were his) and talking about the wonders of Viagra. I wonder if the two things are somehow related.

We didn’t have a boat, and without a boat on Green Lake there isn’t much to do. If we had planned it right, we could have stopped for some Rippin’ Good Outlet Cookies, caught a show at the Thrasher Opera House, and taken advantage of a bonfire they had on the hotel grounds the night we got there. But we managed to have fun in our own way.

are worthwhile things to eat in the Green Lake area, and a good number of well appointed choices downtown. We hit Christiano’s Pizza, known for their brick oven pizzas the first night.

Christiano’s is an extremely popular place for dining in, and judging by the number of cars we kept seeing, delivery. We thought it was an Italian restuarant from the name (and menu), but they’re actually a Christian restaurant started in Wautoma.

There’s also an ice cream parlor which serves gelato, and mini golf on the Christiano grounds—needless to say we didn’t choose the mini golf.

People kept telling us to try the country club, maybe next time, but I do know I wouldn’t go without a list of destinations in hand.

We did enjoy breakfast from an extremely busy downtown diner and ran across three more ice cream parlors before we left. We also had a lot of fun in a kind of liquor store sporting goods tourist shop on South Street around the corner from one of the many ice cream parlors.

think part of the problem was that we were there over Labor Day weekend and things were closing down, although the weather was gorgeous. There was a gallery my sister wanted to go to, but it was by appointment only. We’d missed a show at the Thrasher Opera House in Green Lake, and only stumbled across places such as Wallenfangs from a quick drive around town—you couldn’t miss it. They were very accommodating at Wallenfangs and we had a nice chat about kringle, which they have and will ship.

As a swimmer I was disappointed with the lake access at the Heidel House—their piers are mostly used by fisherman or boats and jet skis, there’s no beach, and very little opportunity to swim except in their pools, both crowded until adult lap swim inside when the pool remains roped off horizontally to make for an unsatisfying swim. The  city beach might be okay for wading, but not the cleanest all round, and no place for a swimmer.

You had to keep an eye on the main pier for a chance to jump in when clear of boats, but climbing up and down the ladder and waiting for large groups of children to be replaced by grappling hooks wasn’t appealing enough to move from the pool.

The hotel itself was a little shabby, especially for the price, and I wasn’t impressed with the set-up or cleanliness of the outside event reception areas.

I most enjoyed the short ride up, boat cruise, Princeton bar, and time on the room terrace, although I think my sister and the other girls loved just hanging out by the pool.

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Just The After The Facts

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° Ripon (a few miles away and home of Ripon college) is full of familiar stores good for stocking your fridge and mini bar

° There’s an ultra convenient BP Ultimart with decent bakery and serious coffee on Mill Street, practically around the corner from the Heidel House

° There are nice, much less expensive places to stay close by (we met people hanging out at the HH pool who were staying blocks away at an inexpensive motel)

° Rent or bring a bike, make a point of walking around the town during daylight hours so you know where you’re going at night, take a night time stroll downtown. The hotel and a place in Berlin have bike rentals. Get away from the hotel

° I loved having a bite at the Buckhorn in nearby Princeton. It’s a small town bar with seating on the unassuming Fox River. Very casual (it’s a small town bar), good sandwiches, deer in the field across the river

Ched Bonus: You’re not too far from Amish country (near Pardeeville and Hwy 22), giving yourself time to wander on the way there and back could be one of the best parts of your trip

of the big attractions at the State Fair this year was chocolate bacon on a stick. I can see how impaling things on a stick would have its appeal, but I was making young people eat chocolate covered bacon months ago.

Some fair goers had their reservations.

of my favorites attractions was finding a barn full of farm animals with a sense of fashion. They cover up to keep clean before they show, and look sizzling doing it.

Poor word choice—although the lamb sammies were quite succulent if not a bit salty.

After gorging yourself on the flesh of cuddly baby animals you might ask yourself, “Self, do funnel cakes need to be more tempting than they already are?”

No, no they don’t.

I don’t care how much walking you do or how long you stay at the State Fair, you will not walk off these calories. Especially if you’re shoving more food in your mouth as you roam the fair grounds

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Just The Facts, aka Adding It Up

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 ADMISSION—$9.00
Two For One on Twofer Tuesday (Seniors 60+, $6.00; Kids 7-11, $4.00; 6 and under free)

 MUSIC
Main Stage Tickets—$20.00 (300 & 400 levels)
Other Fairground Stages—Free

 MIDWAY (which we never found until we saw it lit up in the distance when we finally waddled out of there) All Day Wristband—$25.00

 PARKING All Vehicles—$10.00

Highlights: The unhealthiest, lip smackingest, hip pound packingest food straight from the devil’s playground. Some great demonstrations, parades, friendly folks, animals not yet roasted into dinner, life changing cream puffs, cups of Chocomalt Nog, ice cream sundaes, pretty sasita, deep fried everything, and pigs chasing cookies.
Gear Head Ched Bonus: Parking and the Main Stage located on the Milwaukee Mile.
Lowlights: No bubblers, lots o’ walking, people, temptations. And like any state fair, it’s going to cost you, so pay attention to places such as The Wisconsin Products Pavilion, coupons, adimssion, ride, food and entertainment deals (most of the entertainment is free).

This year’s State Fair was August 6-16. Directions, Events, and Specifics are on the Wisconsin State Fair Web site.

State Fair Offices
640 South 84th Street West Allis, WI 53214
Phone: 414.266.7000
Information Line: 800.884.FAIR (3247) Fax: 414.266.7007
Email: wsfp@wisconsin.gov

were always close at hand while this sort of thing went on throughout the fair.
Do you not love the Holstein trash cans?

Now I know why people are afraid of clowns. I think she’s checking to see if he’s real.

Some of the entertainment was food (while others let their hippie grandparents dress them).

And some of the food was entertainment.

Watching this guy attack a Fred Flinstone turkey leg (or was it pterodactyl) at the Budweiser Roadhouse was pretty entertaining. Let’s hope he doesn’t come across a Pet I.D. Tag.

Man 1 Food 0.

Puff Daddy

Food 1 Man 0
This is not the way you’re supposed to eat a cream puff (it’s the way I eat a cream puff). You’re supposed to take it apart and eat it halved, but what fun is that?

Coming Up: Chocolate Bacon on a Stick, Funnel Cake, and sheep in sheep’s clothing.

we couldn’t find a good spot to watch pigs chasing sugar, we got prime seats at the Lumberjills exhibition. These talented and scary women are mostly from the east coast and Wisconsin, and Tina of Timber Tina’s World Champion Lumberjills is from Hayward.  One of the members has two masters from Marquette and they can all roll a log and throw an axe: In other words, don’t mess with the Lumberjills.—

Looks refreshing, doesn’t it? The State Fair is a thirsty place and I recommend the giant souvenir root beer with the carrying handle from one of the many Root Beer Barrel stands to help hydrate.

Or you could do this.
We had a hard time finding a bubbler, but no problem locating the root beer barrel shaped stands which give a discount on refills. The soda pop is a decent, light, commercial tasting root beer completely suitable for festivals and fairs, almost unaffected by a cup full of quickly melting ice.

You know this is some guy’s nightmare

Or fantasy

I love how the kid in the green abandoned ship, I mean carriage

The Lumberjills mission is to promote female athletes in the world of competitive logging.  They carve wood with chainsaws and cut things with sharp blades. They do one woman cross-cut sawing, and underhand chopping.  Like I said, don’t mess with the Lumberjills.

Wisconsin State Fair started Thursday, August 6, and ends Sunday, August 16. That’s a lot of cows, cream puffs, and sausage.

We went on Crazy Grazin Day and got overwhelmed by the multitude of food on which to graze. After almost 12 hours we hadn’t made it to the midway.

How can I best describe the Wisconsin State Fair?

Cream Puffs

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Italian Sausage

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TIP:  The best Italian sausages are close to the sky way car entrance at a stand called Charlie’s. They also sell Polish Sausages and Meatball Sandwiches (all $7), and the end result is near perfection.

I didn’t see a lot of Crazy Grazin Day bargains, but my cousin got a nice bag of kettle corn at a lower price. It was just too much to follow the Grazin menu. We did, however, get in on a two-for-one admission price, so it cost, what, $4.50, cheaper than a matinee.

Strawberry and Cherry Sundaes from an air conditioned pavilion

These sundaes tasted better than they look, and they look pretty good.
You have to go to the pavilions, they’re air conditioned, have great local food, and can be less expensive. The one with the ice cream sundaes and Chocomalt Nog (.75 cents)—delicious—was my favorite. I’m remembering rubber chickens in overalls and thinking this might be the Wisconsin Products Pavilion.

Let’s take another look at those cream puffs.
The best way to see the State Fair is to get a map, sit down in one of the shaded areas, and plan your day. Pay attention to street signs and stands, or you might end up running around in circles like these guys.

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Be sure to take advantage of the free exhibits, and remember the bleachers fill up fast. Who’d think pig racing would be so popular.

—Annie, the Monroe Clinic Cow

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are a few of the ladies gracing the hills of New Glarus, aka Little Switzerland, in no particular order.

The easiest way to find them is by picking up a red New Glarus Chamber of Commerce brochure from almost any shop in town. Page 16 lists and describes 15 NG Parade cows, but I ran across a few renegades at the Brewery and high school.

Granted, the one at the high school was made from barbed wire, but styling nonetheless.

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Choco, the Maple Leaf Cheese & Chocolate Haus Cow
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Swiss Aire Motel Cow

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Utterly Etter, the New Glarus Elementary School Cow

New Glarus Hotel Cow

Chalet Landhaus Cow (front of building)

Sporting Appenzell Wear, The Lynch Gifts Cow

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New Glarus Brewing Company Cows

“I could use a Spotted Cow.”

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This cow is up to no good, Moo-sher, Dave Mosher and Associates

I’m not sure what got me thinking about the Parade Cows of three years past. It could be a recent trip to New Glarus with the folks (Admiral, there be cows here!), or talk of The Wisconsin State Fair.

Backbone of America

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CowParade churned imaginations and lit up grey spaces in the summer of 2006. I don’t think New Glarus has any CowParade cows, but they have their own parade of fiberglass models sponsored by local businesses (and some lovely CowParade figurines at Roberts).

I remember how much I loved going downtown when the cows were in, around, and on the outskirts of town. My first cow was at the Fitchburg Festa (a military cow I’ve yet to find again), and it felt like the very first time every time I found a new one (singing Madonna).

I never got a map.

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The Cows Are Out

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CowParade people, located in West Hartford, Conn., see the beloved bovine as the ultimate canvas. There are over 2500 visions of the fantastical animal world wide. Cows were vacationing in Budapest, Boston, and Buenos Aires as well that year.

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Say Cheese, Wisconsin

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cows are public art for a few months, then auctioned off for charity.

Pricier Wisconsin cows went for $13,000 (Cowpiary and If You Want to be Moosaic Just Come Along With Me) and $12,500 (Miss Turquoise Tillie and Georgia O’Cowffe).

And I loved Robin, I mean Bobbin’ Yount (The Square by Main and King, no price listed).

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Frank Loin Wright

$5,700—

Frank Loin Wright cow ($9,500, Spectrum Brands, no artist named~ahem) on upper State got much love. It shouldn’t be confused with Cow Lloyd Wright (Ben Bauman, $5,700).

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Many of my favorite cows were at the University Hospital—we’re talking The Wizard of Oz—I was giddy when I saw them outside the main entrance.

A Lollipop Kid, Glinda, and the Wizard all went at the silent auction. There’s a powerful looking train cow with a cow catcher I love that’s probably still in the Atrium.

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Chloe and Moon over Madison

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Wisconsin artists chosen to fashion the chopped roving fiberglass into art each got a cow with a coat of primer, then went to town.

Mad Town.

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Just The Facts

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ω There was a Parade Cownapping this year in La Jolla

ω A cow yields about 200,000 glasses of milk in a lifetime

ω You must have at least 10% milk fat before you call yourself “Ice Cream”

ω Gelato melts faster than ice cream (because of the consistency)

ω There are over 500 official CowParade collectible figurines, some retired

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Soccer Cow and Nurse Nightencow

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Ched Bonus

The best ice cream in the world is made here at Babcock Hall. Okay, that’s an opinion, but an educated one. Take a look at this old Dish post and tell me you wouldn’t sell your soul for a scoop right now.

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Holy Cow

Special Thanks to The Wisconsin Milk Marketing Board, the CowParade Wisconsin and CowParade Web sites, and of course, cows everywhere.

stands at the Mallards games are full of conversation, beer, hyper active sugar-fed children, and food. You need to be a committed multi-tasker to watch the game in this circus of aromas. If you want to make your scale cry, give in, for there will be food.

People turn into major chow hounds when they follow the webbed feet into the Duck Pond, but you should still be well informed when you eat evil-tasty food.

Four Hard Earned Duck Pond Food Court Dining Tips:

1. The line at the Order window versus the line at the Pick Up Window
   If the Order window line seems reasonable and the Pick Up Window line  winds around the food court, do NOT order at that window.
2. Look at the Specials other people are eating
   Whether it’s frog legs, fried eggs with cheese and bacon on white bread (a White Trash Special), or a burger between a glazed donut, watch someone  else eat it first. Do you really want that hamburger stacked with cheese curds and onion rings or a gyro bratwurst?
3. Are your greedy little eyes bigger than your growing stomach?
   We’re all tempted by a Henry the VIII sized turkey leg at one time or another, but I’ve never seen anyone finish theirs, and I’m watching, oh yes, I’m watching.

4. Listen to your mother, wash off that can and pour it in a cup
While waiting in the wrong line for 45 minutes (see Postscript) one of the beer guys dropped a large can of Bud Light Lime on the ground, watched it roll in the dirt and tossed it back in the tub. What are you doing drinking Bud Light Lime, anyway?

Remember, designated drivers like Nanci here get free soft drinks.

A Few Words About The All You Can Consume Duck Blind:

It’s a deal if you’re drinking, but it’s full of well-fed drunks.

Beef Stick Guy

“Peanuts, sunflower seeds, caramel corn, BEEF STICKS!”

And there’s no this guy.

Just The Facts, Ma’am

◆The Madison Mallards are a Northwoods summer collegiate baseball team, and play in Warner Park on the northside of Madison (Sherman and Northport)
◆They’re battling the La Crosse Loggers for the South Division lead in the second half standings

◆The 2009 Madison Mallard’ s regular season started on Thursday, May 28 at the Alexandria Beetles in Minnesota, and will end Monday, August 10 at home against the Green Bay Bullfrogs
◆Ticket Prices: $7.00 Bleacher, $8.00 Box (Seats priced from $5 – $12.00), Great Dane Duck Blind $20 – $35.00

Web site: mallardsbaseball.com
Email: info@mallardsbaseball.com
Complaints, I Mean Phone: (608) 246-4277
Fax: (608) 246-4163
Address: 2920 N. Sherman Ave
Madison, WI 53704

Charlie, an Amazing Skyy Dog

Highlights: Still feels like small town ball, college level ball playing, good food and drink, creative food specials and promotions, decent parking, many free things, mostly friendly fans, reasonable ticket prices, serious drinkers cordoned off in the Duck Blind.
Ched Bonus: Excellent fried cheese curds and battered fries
Lowlights: Problems with season ticket bleacher seats, there’s always someone sitting in them, and they’re too bloated with fried food and salt to move.There are no ushers, the staff is generally young, many are temps, you’re pretty much on your own.

To sum up dinner at the Duck Pond, always look at the Pick-up window line first, check out all your stand options, and try to eat before you get there (unless you’re going to the Duck Blind)—check out that link.

Remember, don’t drive drunk, and always share your curds.

Postscript: I had to stand in the first window food line for 45 freakin’ minutes on Maynard Pitching Bobble head day. The people around me and I left a lovely group voice mail message while we were waiting. You gotta love the bonding experience of an angry mob.